My Personal Evolution
When I look back at old photos from my days as a Japanese idol, I see a younger version of myself, working tirelessly in the pursuit of my dreams. My goal of becoming a singer came true, and now I have even more dreams. My ability to evolve and dream big is what I love about myself.
The Pursuit Of My Dreams
When I was young and obsessed with singing, I dreamt of becoming a pop star, so I relocated to Tokyo. As I pursued this goal, I began getting criticized more and more. Although I loved my job, there came a point in my life where I grew anxious about performing. My voice would stop, and I became weak. I was startled by my own voice, and I lost all self-confidence. My passion for the craft had slowly morphed into fear—I was losing not only myself but also my freedom. Many people could only talk about my popularity and certain improvements that I should make. I wrongly believed that if I stopped singing, I would make people happier.
Many people expected that motherhood should’ve become my top priority, but I found myself yearning for more. I had always had a strong body and loved dancing; I feel happiest when I move. With such limited free time, I wanted to find something that would really inspire me. I taught baby-massaging classes but still felt like something was missing. It was during this time when singing with my daughter that I realized it was my lifelong passion. Although I was afraid to return to my career, my daughter encouraged me to face my fear.
Music Is My Soul
I’ve never had a babysitter for my daughter, so I’ve spent a lot of time with her. There are almost no appropriate places where I can enjoy music and bring her along. Giving up on [my] music wasn’t an option, but I was also determined to raise her. I wanted to create a space where adults could bring their children while also enjoying live music and dance in the company of others. I started it all from scratch.
Caring For Myself
I’ve been in the entertainment industry since I was in elementary school, so I’ve been judged in a variety of good and bad ways for a long time. In order to look and feel good, I’ve learned that I need a steady self-care routine. As I’ve aged, I’ve updated my regimens, and find it equally important to seek feedback from those around me. As I gradually returned to the music industry, I relied on advice from others. Of course, I have skin troubles, and when these issues arise, I see my favorite dermatologist. I’ve been using a doctor-prescribed face lotion for a while now. It has a silky and thick texture, and it leaves my skin with a dewy, hydrated glow.
Physical activity also keeps me feeling beautiful and healthy. I like the glow that I get from sweating, and prefer training at the gym instead of going for a facial at the spa. After my training and before my performances, I’ll use a revitalizing Nahrin Olio-Plus essential oil. The scent always gives me energy.
Believing In Myself
On social media, people judge me with comments like “you’re fat,” or “you’re too old.” As my career continues developing, I must believe in myself in order to avoid such negativity. I feel excited about life and grateful for my work, which are two very important things. I often remind myself that everything is OK and that I’m on the right path—I know how to be honest with myself.
A Relaxing Afternoon Tea
I used to have plenty of leisure time, but now that I have a child, I’m much busier than before. It’s made me more aware of the ways that I spend my free time, and how it’s important for me to do what I like. One of my favorite activities is going for afternoon tea. It makes me feel comfortable and more relaxed. I always drink my tea at this one counter where I can enjoy the natural light. The owner, Takashi Ito, is a tea mixer, and he creates new blends for me depending on my mood.
It feels so luxurious. Whenever I leave the counter, I always feel like, “I’ve got this.”
Photo : Yasuo Yoshikawa
Text : Yasuo Yoshikawa